3rd inning

[freakinblur]

[Ladies & gents: Scout. He's not the brightest. Just don't tell him that! Anyone who's talked to him so far may have gotten this idea. He's seen a lot of weird things in this town, but something has been brought to his attention that is really bugging him.]

[unfiltered voice post! filtering, what is that]

OK, I know this town is super-friggin'-weird, an' that people who get pulled inta this town may not necessarily be from the same place I am from... however THAT works. But I've also been told people 'round here also think they are countries? How can a person be a country? That... that is not possible. A person cannot be a country. A person is a person, and they LIVE in countries, they cannot BE a country. An' I haven't seen anyone runnin' around here... shaped like... France 'r somethin'...

[At this point even he's not sure where this is going.]

ANYWAY. If yer one of these people, I would love it if you could explain ta me how this even works, otherwise I'm callin' bullshit on alla youse. Otherwise, it'd sure as hell be nice if ONE thing in this stupid town made sense!

Comments

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

I happen to be Japan and I may be able to answer your questions.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

OK then tell me how the hell you are Japan. At all. You sound like a guy, and Japan is a place. How are you a COUNTRY?

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

I represent the personification of the country. The "islands" you refer to are actually my house and my citizens are the people who live there.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

OK then but how... how did you come to be? Were you, like, born? Or created or somethin'?

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

I was...found.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

Found by who? People from your country? Or like, when Japan was discovered all of a sudden, you were there?

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

I was discovered by China-san. He may have helped me develop my language and he may have raised me but I am rather wary about such accusations.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

So the guy who is China found you? Is that whatcha mean? So where were you before that? I mean, like... people lived in Japan for a long time, right? Or is China that much older? I gotta admit, I never paid much attention in history class.

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

China-san claims to be over 4,000 years old. I existed before my discovery but my discovery marked my entrance into the world as a whole.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

[Scout is trying hard to absorb these weird concepts. So very hard.]

Alright then. I'm... gettin' it. So you been alive a long time, huh? What do ya do with all that time? Have tea with the emperor? Bug the other countries? Do you like....know what people from your country are up to telepathically or somethin'?!

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

I do occasionally spend time with the Emperor. Most of the time, I stay inside and watch anime though...

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

Seriously? That's it? Man if I were you, I'd like like, tryin' to invade other countries all the time! Or maybe even this place. Maybe you can stage some kinda coup or somethin', make this place into a Japanese territory and then YOU would be in charge!

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

As a country, I am not allowed to have a military force. Only a self defense force.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

Ah, right. An' I guess it's not like you could get 'em here anyway. Still, I think you country guys oughta get on that. Invadin' this place an' takin' it over!

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

You should speak with America-san on that. You seem to be one of his citizens.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm an American. An' maybe I will, man. But I hear there's two Americas? Like, a girl one and a guy one?

[fuelefficient.livejournal.com]

Yes. Meriken-san is the female and America-san is the male. I do not quite understand this myself but Meriken-san does not come from my own world.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

Trust me, I know what that is like. 99% of the shit I been hearing is completely new to me too. All this country stuff is only the tip of the iceberg. We ain't got nothin' like that where I'm from, far as I know.