freakinblur: (goddamn unhappy)
[Oh boy, regains! Scout always looks forward to getting things in the mail - for him, it's usually cool weapons, a neat hat... but not today, Mayfield. Today Scout pulls out from the mailbox a thin manila envelope. He's disappointed it's not some giant package, but he hastily rips it open to see what's inside. And what's inside can only be described as an extended Mayfield April Fools Joke.

It's full of rather, shall we say, scandalous, compromising photos of a certain enemy Spy and Scout's mom.

There's a long moment of Scout standing on the lawn staring at these, eyes wide and unbelieving, before the inevitable flip-out. Everyone on Mitchell Road can hear the endless stream of Southie-style profanities that suddenly erupt from house 1451.

Once he stops screaming at no one, Scout runs into the garage. After a few moments, he's out on the driveway with a metal trash can, some matches and lighter fluid. It's bonfire time.

Feel free to interrupt him at any point! Be warned, though, his temper is something fierce, and he's not about to share what he has.]

---
[Later, once he's calmed down and all the photos are disposed of, Scout will get on the phone!]


So, it's spring! And there's a whole lotta new people in town again. Well, welcome ta Mayfield, it sucks, enjoy yer stay. Anyway, spring means baseball season and I know a lotta youse guys are already interested in playin'. I wanna get at least enough fer two full teams. That means at least 9 ta be on the field, plus a coupla extras just in case. Let's say 20 people. Anyone can play, I don't care if ya totally suck, 'r don't even got baseball thanks ta whatever the hell kinda crazy world ya come from. If ya wanna learn, whenever I ain't bein' yer friendly police officer, I'll be at tha park. I can teach ya ta play. My name's Scout.

[Anyone interested will indeed find him there when he's not on police duty! Okay, even sometimes when he IS on duty, too. He has a lovely habit of practicing batting by just knocking balls down the street and into the neighborhood, not caring what they hit. Approach?]

41st Inning

Jan. 1st, 2011 11:27 am
freakinblur: (y hallo thar)
[Phone:]

So, this whole ballot thing? Talk about a load. Personally? I ain't doin' it. But I gotta sinkin' feelin' that we're all screwed whether ya vote either way, 'r not at all. That's what Mayfield does, man!

[Action:

So now that whole Christmas debacle was over, it was time for things to proceed as normal. As normal as Scout walking down the street with a small, hyper beagle puppy on a leash seems normal. Now that everyone's done getting tortured for the holidays, Scout's picked up his Christmas present for Ai at the pet store. He's trying to keep it in line, but it's not like he can't keep up with it. It just wants to get into everyone's business. Also maybe it will entice cute girls to come over to say hello to them, so hopes Scout! Better look out for that puppy running about your feet, or these two speeding down the sidewalk, Scout laughing all the while.

Eventually he makes it to his home on Mitchell Road.]

Hey Ai! C'mere! I gotcha somethin'!

39th Inning

Dec. 9th, 2010 07:57 am
freakinblur: (wait a goddamn minute)
[Scout's been feeling pretty good lately! He loves the cold weather and snow, Christmas is coming... of course, from what he heard about Christmas here last year, they're in for some weird stuff ahead, but he wasn't worrying about it for now. He was going to enjoy it while it lasted! To hell with Mayfield!

On his way out the door this morning, he notices that the drone daughter has dropped yesterday's mail. He opens it, reads it, and.... stands there, perplexed. He has to read it several times. It doesn't make any sense. This CAN'T be real. The members of his house, and probably the neighbors of 1451 Mitchell too, are treated to one confused and angry Scout wake-up call.]


WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?!?!

No way no way no freakin' way! This can't be for real! This is gotta be some kinda joke!

[Scout calls up his old job to make sure. The drone manager tells him that while they're sad to see him go, they're so proud of him! Such selflessness. They know he'll help keep the town safe.

He wants to punch the phone through the wall, but stops himself and manages to make a call to the town. He doesn't even know who to talk to about this.

Call filtered away from Mayor/Grady/drones/etc.:]


This is bull! Complete bullshit! Aw geez... man I shouldn't freakin' talk about it over tha phones, but-- LOOK! LISTEN UP! Someone... someone needs ta get their asses over ta my house like RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW, OKAY?

Did anyone else get a letter from Grady today? Tell me I ain't tha only one! No wait, DON'T. Maybe I am the only an' this is his idea of a sick goddamn joke.

[The phone is slammed down. You can call back if you want, but he's not talking about it over the phone lines. If you come by his house, the door is open and you can find him pacing about the kitchen, letter laying out on the table.]

35th Inning

Oct. 7th, 2010 05:48 pm
freakinblur: (pay attention to me)
[Filtered from Grady/Mayor/Smiths/drones]

Aw geez! It's October already?! When did that happen?! That means not only did I miss my own freakin' birthday like 2 weeks ago - my twenty-first birthday - that means it's playoff season! Man, I hate this stupid town. I'm gonna miss the World freakin' Series! Lame!

Well anyway... I guess we got, like, important stuff ta discuss, right? So yeah. October. That means Halloween's comin', followed by Thanksgivin', followed by Christmas. I wasn't here for those last year, but from what I was told after I first got here, Halloween and Christmas were pretty ugly as far as the shit Mayfield likes ta pull. So everyone needs ta keep on their toes, awright? An' is there anyone left in town who was actually here last year fer Halloween who can give us an idea 'a what went on? Just so we know what ta expect.

Also, way too many people are gettin' droned 'round here lately. Talk about a bummer. I wonder if that's related ta that whole "escape" comment from tha Mayor the other day. Unless Doc is still kickin', I think I'm tha only BLU left in town. Double lame. Frickin' Engie...
freakinblur: (yeaaah no)
[Filtered from drones/Grady/Smiths/etc. etc.]

So, this Smith thing? I'm goin' to it. Yeah it's a bad idea, whatevah, blah blah blah. Someone's gotta find out what's goin' on, right? Might as well be me!

I heard some of ya are thinkin' 'a goin' too. So who's in with me? Any plans?

[A pause.]

Is there like, ANY of my team left in this stinkin' town 'r what? Engie? Doc? Youse guys still alive, right?
freakinblur: (goddamn unhappy)
[Scout can be seen leaving the post office bleeding profusly from the left side of his head, holding his hand to it to try and slow it down. He looks extremely pissed off and he's marching off towards his house to get on the phone.

He would have been marching off towards *Sideswipe's* house, but he realizes he doesn't know where he lives. So he's spared a punch to the nose. For now.

Fail!Filter to Sideswipe:]


I hope yer happy! I turned in my 5 tops ta get my bat and that bastard mail man took my fuckin' ear!

Jesus Christ... I'm gettin' really sick of havin' to die to fix this shit.
freakinblur: (wait a goddamn minute)
Okay chuckleheads, listen up once again! If even one of ya sends away fer somethin' on the back of a box top in Mayfield of all goddamn places, yer as thick as a brick! I'm sure the cereal is, like, laced with hallucinogenic drugs or something, that will make ya wanna buy more, an' then suddenly yer broke an' ya have nothin' left but 500 Corn Flake boxes, with no money an' no brain cells left ta speak of. An' then ya send off yer box tops but then they're gonna charge ya like four thousand dollars in "processing fees" 'r whatever, so yer totally hosed.

Come on, I been here long enough Mayfield! Ya gotta try harder than that.

[Scout fiddling with a box can be hear in the background can be heard for a moment.]

Just look at this box! It's friggin' creepy, some kid with an eye patch. 'Sides, I mean, it ain't like they can keep some 'a this shit in a warehouse an' just give it out.... right?

29th Inning

Aug. 9th, 2010 07:28 am
freakinblur: (smirky mc smirkface)
[Because these are the important things at hand, Mayfield. Obviously. Not getting out or dealing with the crazies in town or anything like that. No no, it's DATES.

Admittedly, Scout needs a distraction since there's been another rash of dronings amongst his lady friends. He's particularly perturbed by the droning of Ema. They'd been up to SOMETHING of utmost importance at his house, in the basement. If his housemates try to pry, he'll tell them it's top secret and for them to do their best to keep the drone wife out of there, with a wink and a mischievous grin. He keeps it locked and there's a hastily-made sign reading "TOP SECRET - DO NOT ENTER UNDER PENALTY OF BAT TO THE FACE" hanging on the door. There's an... interesting smell coming from down there. Like fruit juice gone bad.

But yes, a distraction. A date with Taiwan sounded out of this world, but he needed someone for her friend! But who? WHO? So he gets on the phone and starts yelling until someone answers. That's how he works.

Totally unfiltered call:]


YO CHUCKLEHEADS. I need ta hear from some single guy out there, awright? I got a hot date lined up fer us! Ya don't wanna miss out on this! Help a brother out, come on!

[It's at this point that he realizes that, outside of his team, he doesn't even have that many guy friends. And he can hardly call most of his team "friends" anyway.]

Um... Ryo, my man! I know yer up for this! Vince, you like chicks right? Um. Pruss-- oh shit, yer a nation. Never mind. They said "no nations". Anyway, somebody out there's interested, right?

[Later he can be found on the town, buying flowers. Cuz that's what you do for these things, right? Shut up, Vince. :|]

25th Inning

Jul. 5th, 2010 04:54 pm
freakinblur: (what are ya even doin')
[Somewhere, in a warehouse uptown, Scout stands in front of a small film crew and a director. He's currently dressed as the impressive, glorious image of a young Soviet soldier who is defeating their capitalist and Nazi enemies and leading the loyal workers to victory.]

Okay, so, I stab this Nazi guy, then kick the American guy in tha face, then I say... what the crap, I can't read this. I don't speak Russian! What's it say? .... "Nothing will stop us! We are Russians, we will overcome!"* ...Are you freakin' serious? Awright, whatevah. Let's just get this over with.


[Later, back at home the efficiency apartment, a phone call!]

This is it? Geez. Well if this only lasts as long as Westport, whatevah, this'll be a breeze. They've made me inta some kinda movie star fer their lousy Commie movies, but it beats the factory 'n' all that. I mean, I guess I am a pretty sweet choice ta be the hero, right? 12 hour workdays kinda blow though. What they stick tha rest 'a you chucklenuts with?




[[totally taken right from an old Soviet propaganda poster, ftw

And just wait till he realizes his speed is gone. OH HO HO.]]
freakinblur: (batter's up)
[Filtered from drones]

Awright, chucklenuts, pay attention! Tha Major Gen'ral has put me in charge 'a whippin' tha kids in town inta lean, mean, fightin' machines. So if yer interested in learnin' how ta bust heads, shoot a gun an' all that kinda fun stuff, then come see me at 1451 Mitchell. I'll see what ya can do then we'll make a work out plan for ya. Gotta get in shape first, ya got that?



...Oh yeah. Can someone please explain ta me what the fuck happened ta Taiwan? Cuz I swear ta God, I think I need ta kick someone's ass over this but I ain't sure who. I think it's Japan? But ya've been a decent guy up until this point, so I don't wanna kick yer ass if I don't gotta. But, I want an explanation. From someone.
freakinblur: (eww)
[Well Scout is unhappy. Seeing two of his favorite ladies, Tifa and Mia both droned really pisses him off, especially since he had just seen Mia fine the other day. Then when he goes to check in on his pal Engie to see how his progress on the gas masks for the town is going, he's droned too. AGAIN.]

What the hell's goin' on around here?

[He'll also make his way to 1664 Nelson, looking for Spy. He's got a stack of papers and he looks none too happy. Knock knock.]

---
[Filtered call to Margot - hackable]

Hey kid, I hear yer lookin' fer more training. Well grab yer bat an' come over any time yer ready, awright? If ya know any other kids interested, bring 'em too. It's time we get this town inta shape!
freakinblur: (headset)
Wake up, sleepy head! You can't spend the whole day in bed.

[Scout's eyes fluttered open. The first thing he did was take in a sharp breath, deeply, in and out. It was the first time in 3 days he could breathe without immense pain. He savored it.

He sat up. There was a different drone wife in the house now. She was opening the curtains to show another beautiful spring day in Mayfield. The drone of Ema had been replaced. He saw a wedding photo of them on the nightstand next to him. It had changed, too. He turned it over.

He sat there for a moment, slowly rubbing his forehead, trying to think straight. He noticed the burn on his arm was gone as well.]


What's wrong, honey? You look like you've had a bad dream.

....yeah. Guess I did.

Well it's over now, so relax. I'll go start on breakfast.

[Off she traipsed to the kitchen. Scout still sat in the empty bedroom.

He's died before. He's died countless times in his service for BLU, resurrected and shipped back out into the battle field without even a thought. All in a day's work. He's even died in Mayfield, back on his feet good as new the next day.

Why did THIS time bother him?]


----

[Call to all non-drones.]

... has anyone else come back? The people in Westport? Shit...

The Milkman. He was there. He was there, and he was fine, that bastard.
freakinblur: (smirky mc smirkface)
[Are you ready for more Scout!Spam, Mayfield? Of course you are! The town is greeted with a much more cheerful-sounding Scout this morning.]

[Call filtered to all non-drones]

Awright, chucklenuts! Listen up, and listen good! There will be a party. It will be tomorrow. It will be at 342 Brady Lane and it will be AWESOME. An' I don't give a crap WHAT is goin' on in this town, this thing is gonna happen. We're all gonna have fun an' get wasted an' Mayfield ain't gonna do a goddamn thing to stop it. I don't care if the whole place is on fire or Godzilla attacks or whatevah. Godzilla will have ta sit down, have a beer an' shut the hell up for a coupla hours.

Tomorrow night. Tuesday. Ya morons bettah all be there!

Oh yeah. Whoever's callin' my house an' hangin' up? Talk about a lame prank call! Can't ya even give me the ol' "Yer refrigerator's runnin' 'r somethin'? Tch. Kids here ain't got no creativity.


[Call to the BLU team, hackable because Scout's so smrt.]

Aweight fellas, I got what I need. When 'r we doin' this Grady thing? I'm gettin' antsy here.
freakinblur: (eww)
[Call to the town, filtered to all non-drones. Scout sounds REALLY unhappy, and tired.]


...Guys. Party's postponed. Maybe like tomorrow. 'R Friday. Whatevah. But it will fuckin' happen. Best believe it will.

Agh--! Geez. Can anyone out there set a broken bone? Fuckin' Mayfield.... hate this place so goddamn much.... [He starts fading out. The phone is left off the hook.]


---

[MOMENTS EARLIER! Scout returns home from work, and realized he missed the morning's mail since he was too distracted by his hot neighbor in her underwear. He opens it to find an envelope with his name on it, containing a piece of paper with this image on it. He doesn't get it at first, but it doesn't take him long to realize his speed and agility have returned.

He's elated! Soon after Scout can be seen speeding across town in a blur, jumping over everything in his way in spectacular fashion. He's laughing, and mocking anyone who gets in his way. It's all well and good until all of a sudden, it just STOPS with no warning.

In the midst of a double-jump over a set of houses, Scout's legs just give out on him. He falls three stories to the ground and lands with a sickening thud. He's lucky he's not dead, but instead he's got a broken right forearm, a couple of cracked ribs, and probably a concussion amongst the mangled face and copious bruises.]

9th Inning

Mar. 29th, 2010 11:50 am
freakinblur: (glance)
[Filtered to Japan] )
--
[Filtered to Engie] )
--
[Action - attention Tewi] )
--

[Filtered to all non-drones!]

Hey people 'a this borin' town! So this like, bunny chick has got a really sweet set-up in 'er backyard. There's a bar and a jukebox an' we're gonna rustle up some other stuff, too. I think that we need ta get everybody there fer a party! Eighteen plus! Sorry kiddies, ya had yer little get-together wit' yer school dance. Anyway, it's on Brady Lane, an' I think we should pick a day an' get as many people there as we can! An' do we really need an excuse ta party? Folks in this town need ta kick back more. Whatcha think?

--
((OOC - I can start a log thread or an entry or something for epic party times if people want, but my newbie-ness wonders which I should do, if anything? Also Tewi-mun, I hope this is OK, if not let me know. X3 ))

8th inning

Mar. 19th, 2010 07:57 am
freakinblur: (headset)
[Voice post filtered to all non-drones]

Hey, guys! I'm lookin' for anyone out there who's tech-savvy. Normally, I'd ask Engie, but he's still... his brain's still AWOL, I guess.


Anyway. If yer any good at that kinda stuff, an' wanna help me out, let me know. We got some spyin' ta do.

6th Inning

Mar. 11th, 2010 07:37 am
freakinblur: (whatever)
[Filtered from REDs and Minatsuki. Hackable? Probably, if you cared enough.]

HEY PEOPLE OF THIS STUPID DUMBASS TOWN. I want you chucklenuts to know there's an imposter 'a me runnin' around this place. DO NOT BE ALARMED. There are several ways to tell the difference:

One - I'm better looking;
Two - I'm faster AND stronger;
Three - He's wears red, which is a terrible color;
Four - His name is Mark, feel free to use that an' not "Scout";
Five - He hangs around with those useless REDs.

See? Easy! If ya see him, feel free to, like, kick him 'n' stuff. LET HIM KNOWS WHO'S BOSS, MAYFIELD! Just say NO to the REDs!

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Scout [BLU]

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